Originally Posted by
Sodevastated 
Thank you Irisgardens. My feelings are authentic alright. Feeling extra disappointed in my husband today cause his addiction spiraled. Looking into Aaron's eyes makes the feelings of disappointment and the sadness even deeper. He is such a lovely child and my AH is missing out on that.
Take care of you too❤
Hi SoDev: Just want you to know I care.
Yes, his addiction spiraled. No doubt. I can imagine your profound sadness and grief.
One of your challenges is to combat the "spiraling" of your own thoughts when they start to veer in certain areas. The thought of him missing out on such an amazing thing as his own son, for instance. And while it is so true he is missing out, sometimes those types of thoughts can pull you down. I'm not going to suggest that you "just think positive", because I know when a person is truly depressed it's not just a matter of thinking positive. How can you NOT be reminded of your husband when you look at his child? That's only natural. I sure don't have all the answers to this. But you are entitled to grieve....that's okay....just remember you are worth it!! And, you are worth everything to that baby boy. Right now, as a new mom, you are basically his world. He is a miracle; you have been touched by a miracle, even with the accompanying grief. Sometimes it's hard to "see" past the grief. This may be where others come into play and you need someone to point out to you all the HOPE there is and JOY that can be in store. Sending you a big giant hug.