Ho ho ho, it's the season to be jolly and all but I seem to be struggling to get though these dark days . I think i need to ask the doc for a prescription - it's been four years since the last time, but if i'm honest i seem to be losing the battle against the permanently drawn curtains mentality and need to be jolted out of it.
Anyway, the thing is, everyone tells me these things take months to have any effect on depression, assuming they ever work at all (for a lot of sufferers , apparently they do not).
My experience of Fluoxetine (Prozac) is different. Within a couple of hours of taking that first, 20mg tablet i know it's there, damn
...and i suddenly find myself trying to phone or write emails to old friends i haven't spoken to in years so i can tell them how great i think they are and also trying to buy them presents.
This is after scarcely leaving the house except to go to work for months on end, phone permanently in airplane mode, months worth of unopened mail piling up around the doormat.
I don't quite know how i should feel about it - I'm supposed to be getting better, not getting high. After a week or two, the effect fades into the background and seems to become more of a slightly demotivating fuzziness, along with the side effects people report starting to appear. I've never kept a course going longer than 6 weeks because
a) i either feel i don't need them anymore or have sunk too far back into social phobia to make another doctor appointment and ask for a repeat prescription
b) don't want to carry on taking a psychoactive substance after it's ceased to be a catalyst for change. Usually the first flush of the thing gets me to restart some hobby or relationship i'd withdrawn from and that can be a lasting change for good, but once i'm in the "fuzzy sameness" phase it seems pointless to keep going.
c) annoying side effects are annoying
So, what's with this "high" feeling i get in the first few days? Is it just a return of positive feelings that normal people take for granted ? When depression sets in, does this mean I'm acting like the frog in a pot of water slowly brought to the boil?
Or is it a sign that the treatment is wrong?
Alternatively, is it a sign that the treatment is 100% correct, if i get such a big immediate reaction to something that boosts serotonin, does this support the idea that the problem was a lack of serotonin all along?
decisions..
