keeping the desperation would lead me back to drinking.
desperation was part of the problem, to which drinking again seemed like a great solution.
no, I got sober to get rid of desperation.
i have the truth of my alcoholism, the knowing I had no control when I wanted it, and that truth sits solid deep down.
knowing that, I first joined a peer support group and forum, and after a few years found myself in a different desperation, which I have addressed by doing the suggested stuff in AA.
desperation was an initial motivator, and a great one, but it would ultimately turn into defeatist unmotivation.