Sodev,
I do hope your son Aaron gets to feeling better. And I sure agree with visiting your husband's grave when you're up to it.
It's been awhile since I've "visited my mom". She loved McDonald's decaf. I've gone to McDonald's to get two, take them to the cemetery, sit on a blanket, drink my coffee and spend time with mom. I put her decaf on the brass plate.
About yelling at God. Believe me, He can take it!
Be gentle with yourself.
Hugs to you and everyone else who is hurting.