Recovery is an isolating place
I'm writing this just to get my feelings out. I'm sure others can relate.
Trying to get better is hard. I genuinely thought after leaving my ex my life would miraculously get better. I thought for sure I'd meet a millionaire, man of my dreams to save me, make me whole. I was clueless. I have met a good guy, but his job is not to fill my voids. It's been about 20 months and recovery from my dysfunctional family, relationships, and self has been a full time job. I feel alone ALOT. Not because I am alone, but because so many people don't get it. I've had to drastically change myself. I think what has really solidified these feelings is a comment by my cousin at Christmas. She's in what I believe to be an unhealthy relationship (in fact my entire family is) but I'll leave that up to her. Anyway we were casually talking about exes. She knows I left mine for drinking. I said "it was a relationship based on addiction and I knew I had to stay away." Her response was "yeah but I thought you guys had a lot in common." I don't know why but this statement is really hurtful. It made me feel like wow...she's heard nothing I've said ever. It was so dismissive to me. Im trying so hard to move past my codependency. I get that I am sensitive, but would anyone sat that to a woman that was hit or cheated on? Well..he cheated on you...but you guys both loved art! This is not the first comment like this I've dealt with. Anyway...my point is that addiction is a lonely place for everyone. I go to meetings but having a family that just doesn't get it is hard. This experience has given me the gift of tons of empathy. I'm so thankful for this forum. I come here every day and I feel less alone. Thank you!