Originally Posted by
drash11 
I have proclaimed to friends and family 'I have quit drinking' so many times that if I tell them again they will roll their eyes.
Recovery is not a proclamation. It's a mindset and lifestyle that supports your decision to get and remain sober. If you still have a drinking mindset, you'll drink. If you aren't doing anything to learn to cope with life alcohol free...you'll drink.
Commit to quitting. For good!
I think the idea of AA is a good one. Not everyone can quit on their own. You've struggled with that. But meetings aren't the program of AA. The steps are. I hope you glean that from the meetings.
As for dealing with the AV, anyone who has gotten sober has dealt with the AV. Yours is no stronger than anyone else's. You just haven't learned how to deal with it. Read up on AVRT.
Good luck.