hello drash,
sure, that all makes sense in that screwed up irrational alcoholic way of sense.
the wantingo get in as much beer as possible before a, b, c or k happens...yes, been there done that. worse than ridiculous, and doesn't "work".
getting really engaged with sober others, listening to what worked for them or didn't, being willing to sit in discomfort and looking at that and myself, doing lots of reading on how others had done it, doing stuff I figured would cement in my sobriety even when I didn't want to doit...just some of the things I did that helped me lots initially.
as far as AV, there are ways to deal with it, and lots of conversations and explanations about it farther down in the Secular Connections forum.
and of course there are programs such as 12step, or SMART, .......other than coming here, what are you willing to do and planning to do?