I slapped him, and a very scary physical altercation ensued. I apologized that night, and again Monday morning for slapping him.
fwiw I did the same to my exah. I a m not a violent person. I never raised a single hand to any of my children growing up and I've never been involved in any sort of physical violence before but I snapped and I hit him.
It did not come from nowhere tho. It came from my total despair and frustration of 18 years of him being drunk and all that entailed and my loss of hope and everything I had worked for going down the drain. Also the fact he'd peed our new sofa for the 7th night on the trot damaging the flooring under it and my autistic son had sat on it soaking his clothes. He stood there acting all smug and justifying it and something inside me broke. I just went for him. A policeman friend came round and made him leave the house but I knew then I was done. Finished. I never lived in the same house as him again and my rage had been building for years and at that time I hated him. I have no feelings either way now. It won't get any better. You already know this. I got out. I never looked back