I did it by focussing on the reasons I wanted to get well, rather than what he or anyone else was doing.
One of the things that I had to get through early on was a couple we both know getting married. They were people we often partied with. I had a Hen weekend in Berlin to navigate through, and then the wedding itself, where they'd taken over a converted barn site, so their families has a house each, they had one, and we (the friends )all shared a house - ten of us - all my old drinking buddies and my partner for the whole weekend, and another massive group camping in an adjoining field.
I managed by taking both events an hour at a time. Thinking through my decisions as they came up. Being honest with others about what i needed. In Berlin I stayed very close to this forum, and Dee and others got me through. At the wedding weekend, the thing that struck me was that actually there were LOADS of people not drinking, or who had only drunk a little, and we're happy to leave ut at that. What a strange phenomena. Every so often I felt a little overwhelmed, or tired, or people started getting on my nerves. At these points I headed back ovr to our shared house for a break and a mug of tea and a biscuit. And guess what. Each time I did that, there were others there doing the exact same thing. It was like being let in on a new secret world that I'd not realised existed before. My wild drinking friends double life, as tea quaffers and biscuit munchers. Hmmmmm. The Berlin weekend I was very honest and upfront about what I felt I could and couldn't cope with. Each night I came out with everyone, with more than adequate taxi cash and reputable taxi drinkers cards in my purse (ands recommended by the staff on reception at the hotel), and there wasn't a single evening where at least two or three other girls didn't ask if they could travel back with me because they'd had enough as well. In the mornings I put myself on hangover nurse duty and went out for cold drinks and snacks to nurse the bride and others back to health after their excesses. It was all much easier than I'd imagined it would be.
Our AVs are very good at tugging at our fears and making us feel like this is a challenge that is completely beyond us. And that's just not so. Hopefully our experience strength and hope will help carry you through the first few times. Then , after that yiu will have the knowledge that you did it before so can do it again.
With hope and acceptance and willingness, all things are possible.