I am so sorry that you are feeling condemned, Bleurgh. I landed here on a Google search, too, and found a second 'home'.
Choosing a sober life was one of the best things I ever did; my life now is exponentially better - no more awful hangovers, no more wondering what happened to the last part of the previous night, no more gastrointestinal issues - more meaningful relationships with family and friends, more self-respect - most importantly, regaining a 'soulful' existence.
If you do come to the conclusion that drinking should not be a part of your life, please know that many here have found that sobriety truly rocks.
We are here for you.