Advice?
My AW went on a "wine night" as she used to call them, which consisted of her, her sister and friends basically getting drunk on a girls night in whilst the hosts other half would make themselves scarce for the evening (me being this person occasionally). This in itself i never really had a problem with until the last one she went on. She went out as usual and she would normally return at about 1-2 am, but on this occasion she wasn't home by 3 so i tried to ring as i was worried that she may have hurt herself on the way home as she would usually get legless drunk and struggle with the key in the door so i would have to open it. When i rang my AW there was no response and i kept trying her until 630am when i was able to find her sisters home number who was hosting the party. i rung her sister and her Husband answered, he said she is staying here. I was so angry as i had been so worried. I said i want to speak to her now, he said she is sleeping and without holding back i suggest he go wake her up. i spoke to her on the phone and she said she would come home as soon as she can (via a taxi).
She turns up with her sisters trousers on and her Jeans in a bag saying she wet her own as she was so drunk, but in 15 years she has never done this and i have seen her in some states. I asked why she didn't ring me or let me know what she was doing and she said she wasn't capable. I asked if my sister in laws Husband (vane bodybuilder) had brought some of his friends back as it is something that he would do. She said no, no one else was there. She however slipped up a couple of weeks later when she was telling me that her sister was going out with her husband and one of his mates "the one with all the tattoos", i said when have you met some of his friends as her sisters relationship at the time was quite new and when ever she had been at her sister since they had been together i had been with her, after a long pause she admitted that they were there that night. I hit the roof. She claims to this day that nothing happened but i suppose she has nothing to gain by saying anything else.
That was 4 years ago and it still effects me now as i am a very faithful and honest person, i have been the entire time we have been together. i never pushed it at the time as i honestly didn't want to hear any other answer than she had done nothing wrong. Mainly because if she did admit it i could not stay with her and my son was only 3 at the time and he wouldn't have a clue who i was whilst he was growing up.
I have so much resentment for how she acted that evening and would love someone else`s opinion on the subject as i felt i couldn't tell family since they would dislike her or friends for the same reason, so have just been holding it in for the past 4 years. When ever i have brought it up she gets angry with me and says if i cant accept what she is saying then we may as well split up. i feel this ultimatum is unfair and she is trying to deflect it all on me.
If someone else other half had done this:-
what conclusion do you think had happened (i.e cheated or not)?
how would you of handled it or handle the situation now?