You're here now with friends. Many people to talk to. I can understand your frustration. How is he when he is drunk? You use the words grumpy and irrational. I hope you don't mind me asking. I know when I first started looking for help and support, I know that I was evading a lot of things. Once I felt comfortable, I was able to talk about a lot more.
But, no worry, try to ease yourself into this place, read the stickies on top, and just know you really did find a lot of people here that you can talk to.
amy