Steve she did!, all the time were together recently, she brings up the past, the times we argued & the neglect & love i had for the bottle, the moods i was in, the lying & immaturity & lack of respect & love i showed for her!
Whenever i say something, she brings these times up & i don't blame her, but i find it hard (as she did) & hurtful (as she was hurt) to try & put these times behind me (as she cant) when i'm looking to the present, staying clean, the future, the great way i feel after 35 days!
Trust must be earned, but i live with the prospect of "will she ever think, yes he's quit", that i may be with her 2 years more & then start again & thats what she's scared of!
Do i need to be with her 24/7 to show her, we've talked about this & she says she must trust me, but to see my difference, as a person, does she have to see me all the time, or will she, as she knows me, be able to tell the difference?
I've told her that the selfishness, & all things that go with a drinker will be gone, the level moods & generosity will be evident, but will she be able to tell, i mean as far as she's concerned, i could be drinking now & when i see her i'd say i haven't. Will she be able to tell the change!??
Thanks
Gaz