Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
I'm a little confused. I don't remember anything about his having mental health issues and "self-medicating"--does he have an actual diagnosis?
Most abusive men aren't mentally ill. From everything you've ever posted about him, your ex pretty much fits the classic abuser profile (not that there is a formal profile--I'm just talking my observations/experience with abusers).
He saw a therapist 6 yrs ago during a period when he was in and out of rehabs and she diagnosed him with characteristics of BPD/NPD...
He saw her for DBT therapy and had these workbooks etc... and then stopped just as soon as he started...
I am convinced he is not well mentally ON TOP of being an abuser and an alcoholic...
Or maybe it's the years of drinking that have permanently damaged his brain...
I am no doctor so who knows... but he did have that diagnosis at one time...