Day 1
I usually just read the posts but I think I better be more involved. I'm on Day 1. Again. The most sober time I've ever had was 2 years. Lately I've been struggling with major family problems, I overextended myself & forgot about me. I also have depression & anxiety issues. I have no health insurance. When I have done well in recovery I lived in a big city with lots of meetings & I had insurance. Now I live in a rural area with much less meetings. I have isolated myself to try & keep the anxiety down.
I haven't left my bed for 3-4 days. I'm gross. I think I took a shower a week ago. My hair is a matted mess. My puke bucket is beside the bed. I'm waiting for my husband to come home. I have no clue what his reaction will be. When he came home yesterday & found me drunk again - he went ballistic...called me every name in the book. I pleaded with him to stop yelling at me. It was not helping. I think I ate 2 days ago...I've been drinking water & took some Immodian. I just can't physically or mentally leave this room. I did find a women's mtg one town over. I really need some women sober support.
Just wanted to stop in & say hello. I'm still pretty shaky but I feel a better than last night. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I dread facing my husband. He's going to be very upset that I'm still in bed. I've tried explaining my alcohol use to him but he doesn't get it. Sorry for my pity party.