Hey there Suzieq17, glad you're talking to us and telling us very eloquently what's going on and how anxiety/panic is taking a toll.
I've also been there (thankfully not this round of sobriety), but I know the drill and it sucks...bigtime.
In my personal experience, I had to do two things:
1. get my mind in the right place in terms of acceptance of my alcoholism and how my life was truly unmanageable,
2. come to terms with my underlying anxiety and how alcohol cessation would temporarily drive it through the roof.
Like you, a few years back I would also awake at night or early in the morning with horrible anxiety and oftentimes panic. It would make me dizzy, give me that out of body experience, and generally not want to get out of bed (except that I couldn't sleep either).
What got me over the hump as it were, was honestly talking to my doctor about my underlying anxiety and also stopping alcohol. Basically, in addition to AA, I needed some medical help which was Klonopin (short-term rescue benzo med that I don't need today), a sleep aid to get me to rest, as well a treatment for my underlying anxiety in the form of Lexapro. Today I just take Lexapro and I credit it with getting my mind where it needs to be for long-term sobriety.
I know everyone is different in their drinking and sobriety, but wanted to share my story.
Hang in there!
