Can someone teach my mom some loving detachment
Actually, yes Yoursister! Can you take her to a meeting or two. She may get it all by listening. I find that for a week or so after a meeting, things that were shared hit me over the head like a two by four! It comes to you when you're ready, I guess.
what I've done in the past really hasn't "helped" anyone (me or the alcoholic) at all, and may have even contributed to the situation.
I can say that about me, too, Winter. Bet we'd have lots of company as well. Just don't get confused with that - you didn't cause the illness. It's biology. Plain and simple.
Go easy on yourself. There's enough to do today rather than slipping into the past.
warm wishes to all,
Reikihelps