Yoursister - My alcoholic daughter has made threats of suicide in order to get her way. This is called emotional blackmail, and it is very traumatic for a mother to deal with. It sounds lke your Mum could use Alanon - I go to three meetings a week, and it helps me stay sane.
Winter - it is so very difficult to stop ennabling. I find I really need the support of my Alanon program to recognize when I am ennabling. In the long run, ennabling is very damaging to the alcoholic. It is hard for me to set boundaries, though - that is why I need Alanon for support.
Robin