i am reminded of what Cheryl Strayed wrote in "Wild." She posits the question at the end of her hike along the Pacific Crest Trail: "What if heroin taught me something?" I feel that way about my alcohol use and abuse. It was something I did, what did it teach me? I have a lot of answers to that one. I guess what I am saying is that in relapse we have the opportunity to dig deeper about why we want to drink. Peace.