I was Baker Acted about 10 years ago and it was during that stay in the psych ward that I decided I was never going to drink again. It was surreal to feel like I was in a bad lifetime movie, but it was in fact what my life had become. I prided myself on being good at my profession, a good mother, a person of character. But the reality was that over years of daily heavy drinking I had become a selfish and pretty sh*tty human being. That day I decided that, no matter what, I would hold myself to my personal values, the main one at that point was to never drink again. Of course over the years there were times a part of me wanted to drink, but I separated from that and didn't act on it, because to act on it would mean to lose my integrity. Been there already...never going back. I don't call myself "an alcoholic" nor do I think I have a lifelong disease. Alcohol doesn't cause problems in my life, because I don't drink it. If I were to drink it again, the likelihood of becoming re-addicted is extremely high. But that is a moot issue, since I don't drink alcohol, nor will I ever. It's not an option.
I had done some damage for sure. Mainly to my children, as I had attempted suicide. To them and to all others who were important to me, I told them I was sorry and that I would never drink again. The fact that I followed through on that and did not let them down again was the only way they began to trust me again and it was how my life began to be repaired.
Quitting drinking and changing your life is a big deal. A huge deal. It isn't an easy task and you should feel like a complete badass when you end an addiction. That said, it also isn't something I wear as an identity. I don't feel "different" or "unique" in any way. I just happen to be a nondrinker, like a gajillion other people in the world, and I go about living my life the best way I know how.