OK, well, the same goes for legal separation. You still need advice and need to do it the right way. Do you know what needs to go into the agreement to protect yourself and your kids?
Why does it matter whether he's happy about what you do or don't do? You're looking to make sense out of something that doesn't make sense. The actions of alcoholics rarely make sense. The common thread here seems to be he's not happy with whatever you do or don't do. Pretty standard operating mode for alcoholics--everything is always someone else's fault. If you're hoping to hit on some combination that will make him behave like a responsible, rational adult, I think you're in for a long, frustrating wait.