[I]"...one option is that I continue to make life easy for her and she continues to drink, having no motivation to do the hard work of recovery. At the rate her disease is progressing, that will surely kill her.
The other option is that I stop making things easy for her, and allow her to make her own mistakes, and learn from them. "
What you wrote here really makes a lot of sense to me-what I've done to "help" in the past really hasn't "helped" anyone (me or the alcoholic) at all, and may have even contributed to the situation.