Thanks for the replies.....I dont really want to use the drug, I find reading helps,When things stress me out, those things mainly being my own thoughts and reactions I am glad that the drug will send me to sleep rather than on another insane journey.I plan to use it only as long as i have sorted out a residential rehab, only if i feel i really need it.I was seen straight away today by the welfare people while zonked out a bit on the drug,I know from past experience when i have gone and inquired about getting help. They have taken one look at me and said, you look ok to us, you dont need our help, you have the intelligence to sort it out for yourself.......if only they had ever seen me at my worst.I see that my sickness is relative to me,I know I am better off than a lot of people, but that doesnt change the fact that i also know how sick i am and what i am capable of doing if i dont get full control of myself.