Hi everyone,
After 30 days at an in-patient rehab center, my stbxah will be released tomorrow. We're separated and haven't lived together in 3 months - which has been truly life changing (not an understatement!). His mother (who is a recovering A) is picking him up and taking him back to our place (I live w/my parents). The more I've learned about alcoholism the more light is shined on HER, but that is a different story for another day
Let's just say, I see clearly now how manipulative she is over everyone she is around. She is sober but not working a program at all.
So, I have received six letters from stbxah while he has been in rehab and the first 5 all followed the same theme: here's what I'm doing in rehab, wow I didn't know how bad my drinking was, I hope you find it in your heart to give us another chance, please come visit me (I never did), I was on the wrong Rx but now I'm on the right one... no talks of a future plan of action or not. No real apologies.
I wrote him 1 letter and the theme of mine was - I'm happy you're doing better, I'll always been cheering for you to do well but I'm walking away. I'm not giving up (his favorite thing to say to me) but I am walking away and I've come to terms that I won't be around to see you succeed, but I hope you do. I wanted to send this to him while he was basically surrounded to therapy/AA/Help 24/7
His 6th letter back to me was nothing less than nasty. Blame, guilt tripping, manipulation, saying I'm "cryptic" and that he hopes I "don't make it a habit to walk away from tough things in life," etc. Ayi yi yi.
I am not quite sure what to expect once he is out tomorrow with full access to phone, car, texts, etc. (Car for only a few more weeks... he has a DUI court date soon). I'm basically bracing for impact. I asked for No Contact a while back - it's been broken, but I think tomorrow is a good of day as any to start again! I know where I stand (we're over) but he is still in denial.
My goal is to present him with our property settlement agreement soon so we can get to a place where we can file for divorce. I originally wanted to present these to him when he was fresh out of rehab, but he seems emotionally unstable and I'm afraid if he gets the papers right now he will be totally uncooperative. I need to find out his lawyer's name so I can send directly to them...