Girlfriend

MAN,....isn't that the truth!!! It's hard letting go of your children because we've always been their caretakers from infancy to adulthood. When my kids left and moved hundreds of miles away for their careers and college, I thought I was gonna die. But, like Reikihelps said, loving deeply as a Mom is the only way we can do that. With the faith that they'll be okay.

I know what you mean about getting the enabling thing. It took me A LONG time, too, to get that with my xabf. I kept thinking, only because I'm a RA of many years and had no one to help me (and I still got sober..YAY!) that who else was gonna help him? Somebody had to! He'd drink himself to death if I didn't.

I tried to get his whole family in on it and BOY......was that a mistake. They ALL jumped on me and blamed me for his alcoholism (even though he drank for 9 years before I was with him ????). THEN, the lightbulb came on. "This is what they're talking about as far as enabling goes!!" I've stopped since then.

No more do I "take care" of things for him. No making phone calls for him, no babying him. He's 45 and needs to learn to do it on his own or forget it. I've already raised my kids. I don't need another one. And, as long as he knows he can manipulate me or push my buttons, he'll try every time.

Best thing we can do is walk away and let them make their own decisions and watch them fall, but also watch them pick themselves back up again. It's worth it to see that and to see that they "get it" too,........finally.

Good for you,robina!