I am going through the same thing I think . I feel selfish , because I have been emotionally neglected for years by his mistress alcohol. I feel like he should be focusing on me ... as an educated woman I know that is not the case nor can it be as he has to focus on his recovery . I work full time 40 to 50 hours a week and take care of everything . I have no idea how to focus on myself . All I have focused on for 9 years is him. I'm jealous he has new friends and a support system I'm not a part of . I sound horrible ...but being honest.