I didn't think I was "bad enough" for AA the first few times I was around it. Being sentenced to it wasn't enough to shock me into seeking the things I had in common versus focusing on the things that seemed to "not be for me".
A decade later, more DUIs, more divorces, more financial ruin, more health issues, more damage and far deeper into addiction.... I finally went to AA with an open mind. I chose to see 'them' as fellow humans who had also found that alcohol had done more harm than good in their lives. I chose to see AA as a possible source of change, of community, of understanding and of support for a life of sobriety rather than a group of people "worse than me" who I didn't belong with.
I could still have seen "them" as "worse than me". there's always someone worse, of course.
But I opened up my mind and my heart and my vulnerability and I saw that I was 'like them' and it had been 'for me' all along. It just took me 10+ years and a lot of heartache, headache and damage to figure it out.
Walk through those doors, get yourself a Big Book, open yourself to what you can learn from the experience, the program and the community you find.
For me, AA was an essential, critically valuable part of my nearly three years of sobriety. My life is vastly improved. I don't go to AA often these days. I never did 'work all the steps' quite as the program intends. I never did do the whole thing..... but I did and I continue to take pieces of the program into my daily life. I did and continue to reference the Big Book and the principles and I did and continue to 'work steps' in my own way.
I don't see "God" as a lot of people in AA (or in religions) are apt to. But I am well past the judgement I used to carry about "The God Thing" where AA is concerned.
Embrace sobriety. Embrace it deeply and act in that direction every day and you will find your life ascending to heights you never dared imagine.
