Originally Posted by
Ionray 
Well now I've heard everything. I've heard many doubts and criticisms levelled against AA as being "too religious" and people being put off by all the references to God and Higher Power, but AA being rejected for being "unbiblical garbage" and therefore not religious ENOUGH? That's a new one on this old alcoholic.
Sorry to say it but that sounds like a cop-out and an excuse for more drinking. That is the AV I mentioned previously, in textbook form, essentially convincing your husband, "See, AA doesn't work or isn't good enough. It's not Christian enough or biblical enough" (or XYZ enough), and masquerading as his own thoughts. Doesn't matter what XYZ is, if your AV figures out that it's important to you, it will use it as an excuse to convince you to give up on recovery and keep drinking.
Because that's all the AV cares about. Your husband loves you and doesn't want to hurt you. The AV doesn't care two hoots about you and convinces your husband that the good feelings from alcohol are worth risking deceiving you and hiding stuff. This is why your husband, who truly loves you and doesn't want to hurt you, continues to do things that hurt you. You wonder "Why would he do such a thing?" It's because he's listening to the AV and unable to differentiate the truth from the lies. See where I'm going here?
As for being "unbiblical garbage", there is nothing in AA (or RR for that matter) that conflicts with any particuar spiritual or religious belief system. It is by design intended to be inclusive because if the program were for Christians only, there would be an awful lot of people who would not or could not be helped by it, and the whole purpose of the program is to help alcoholics - not just Christian alcoholics.
Having said that, I'm sure there are plenty of Christian-oriented AA groups out there; it may be your husband just hasn't found the right AA group or meeting. It may be worth a call to your local home office and describe your husband's particular situation. I'm sure someone there can point him in the right direction.
As for RR, if he "needs" a Christian, faith-based recovery program to stay sober, it's not RR. RR is strictly secular in nature; it certainly doesn't reject any religious or spiritual beliefs, but it doesn't depend on them either. RR says that there is nothing wrong with seeking spiritual enrichment, but it is separate from, unrelated to, and therefore not a prerequisite for, recovery from addiction. RR can help you find a way to get (and stay permanently) sober and leaves your religious beliefs (or lack thereof) to you.
In any case, best wishes I hope and pray that both you and your husband are able to overcome addiction and find some peace.
Well, un-biblical garbage is actually probably not the word he used, I think that was me interpreting his reasoning and cramming it into a nutshell. I'm still not sure if I truly understand what he's trying to explain or not. It may just be that because he's Christian, he wants Christian based recovery. You may be right though and that he was just maybe not in the right group for him last time.
When I read about RR, I actually wondered if it could work for him because it's based on making a commitment to get sober and stay sober. Couldn't he make that commitment to God? Couldn't his AV be any sin that involves him not staying sober?* I feel like it almost sounds too simple, but if I understand the concept correctly, aren't 1 and 2 the same? 1) I will know when it's my AV because it will involve drinking again. 2) I will know that it's a sin because it will involve drinking again.* However, I'm not sure I've even fully thought it out yet... Or that I fully understand everything I read about it.
I also think his rejection of AA is probably a cop-out because he wants to keep drinking. He isn't able to control his AV at this point. It is stronger than his desire to get clean. I listened and believed the lies of my AV for many years, until 23 days ago. One morning I woke up and my desire to quit was finally stronger than my desire to use.