Hi C3,
It seems there are many types of problem drinkers just as AA described in the big book. Anyone who consumes excessive amounts of alcohol can have a diagnosis of alcohol use disorder. That could be the wayward student, the grieving person, the shocked person, you get the picture. But they grow out of it usually.
Most people with aud could simply decide to stop. At the more serious end of the scale however the option to do that doesn't appear to exist. The symptoms of loss of control and choice were there almost from my first drink. At the beginning they did not manifest in problems, but by the time I was 16, I was diagnosed chronic alcoholic.. no control, no choice. I drank for six more years getting steadily worse until I was unable to continue, yet unable to stop. That is when I got help.
The distinguishing thing with my alcoholism, the reason AA has worked so well for me, is that lack of control or choice. It was there at the end, but it was there all along, even when I was able to function reasonably well. Other friends appeared to have control problems, but they regained control, and they were able to make free choices around alcohol even though for a time they appeared to drink like me.
Control and choice are the criteria, or the progression, though the book does suggest we might have once had the ability to stop on our own power, but then goes on to say that few of us would have seen the need. Control and choice.