Ginny,
I would like to think that I have a decent program after 7 years sober. At first, I did go to at least one meeting a day - it felt like a lifeline to which I had to cling to stay sane. I did 360 meetings in my first year, because that's what I needed to stay sober.
Sobriety ultimately is about balance - in all facets of our lives. It takes time to find one's comfort zone, I now go to four meetings a week, sponsor three other men, and lead a meeting a month at our local hospital's detox ward. My marriage is my second priority after sobriety - I wouldn't have one if I drank, its as simple as that. But I do try to stay conscious of the sacrifice my wife makes, and make her a priority with the time I have. I try to schedule as much of my AA stuff in the hours that she is otherwise occupied, so we have as much time together as possible. But it took a while of making sobriety the main focus of every day to be at a place where I could do that.
It seems to me its all in how you broach the subject with him. Be sensitive to the fact that it could sound like criticism: damned if he drinks, damned if he doesn't, or more of an appeal to share time together. Bear in mind that early sobriety is brutal in terms of mood swings and short attention spans. Go slow, be gentle to you and him... Rome wasn't built in a day, neither will your new sober relationship with your husband.
Good luck, your husband is fortunate to have a wife that cares enough to strive for a better relationship.