Oh how I needed to read this tonight. I am where you were two years ago....I'm in the thick of it all and obsessing like a crazy person on how I am going to deal with this man in my life. We have two very young kids together and are in a custody battle. He is appearing now that he is clean (drug test coming up will prove this) and I am trying to accept the inevitable timesharing of the kids. Does your ex get timesharing and do you have safe guards in place to monitor his sobriety? I am terrified about my ex having the kids alone and I have the worst anxiety every day about the thought of this. I don't want to hijack your thread so maybe you can PM me with some tips:-). Anyhow...congrats to you on your well needed peace...it's so nice to hear happy stories. I hope I can write something similar to this in a few years!!