New member on pills again
Hi everyone, I am new to this board. I too am very addicted to painkillers of all kinds. I had previous drug problems but got clean one I found out I was pregenant last February. Luckily I stopped just in time and my son was born perfectly healthy in Oct 2004. After I had him of course, I was given Percocets for the pain. It was the first time I had taken them and before I left the hospital I was already hooked. I was asking for them ever four hours and the nurses always gave them to me freely. The helped me with all of my post-delivery blues and fears. I just felt euphoric and like I knew that everything was going to be okay even though I knew nothing about babies. After I got home, I had a small prescription and my husband was taking them as well which mad me very upset since I was still in a great deal of pain. Sometimes I think that if I had been able to all the pills I was prescribed without having to get more because he was taking them that I wouldn't have gotten addicted. But I know that's not true. And I just kept getting them. I began doctor shopping and was very successful in getting pills because I had just had a baby. They made me very alert which I thought helpt since my son was waking up every two hours day and night. Anyways, my husband and I began doctor shopping and for the most part had a pretty constant supply. And just about when all of our sources were begining to run dry, he was in a car accident and the opened up a lot of new ways to get pills. Then my husband had to go to community service for traffic violations and he met a guy who was also an addict and bought them off of the street. Well, after that, we found all kinds of people who were selling everything. vics, percs, lortabs, and even OCs. There was one guys that sold us OCs and we starting snorting those. We would sell them to other people for a higher price to make up for all of the money we were spending on them. Anyways, a couple of months ago we completely ran out of ways to get them. We had to go cold turkey. My husband wasn't as strong as I was, however. He starting using cocaine again and drinking heavily. I, however, somehow by the grace of God found a way to stay completely clean. I have to tell you, the worst part of the withdrawal was the depression. I just wanted to die. Plus I had all of the other symptoms, flu-like, horrible back aches, everything. I stayed clean for a whole month. Towardsthe end of the month, my husband got off everything as well. But he had to go to the doctor for real sickness once and the doctor was a quack. And as anyone knows, it's almost impossible to resist when you are handed a large script. Now were back on them. And what's worse is that I know have a much higher tolerance and am taking a lot more of them. And now were getting constant large prescriptions and I just can't keep away from them. I know that soon they will all run out and I will have to go cold turkey again. After I was clean for the month, I was feeling completely normal again. Every once in a while I would get cravings, but for the most part I was living free like I used to. Not having to depend on pills to get up in the morning and not having a stupid pill bottle completely run my life. Anyways, I have never told my story to anyone before and it feels good to get it off my chest. Will write more later. Please e-mail me with any suggesstions.