Thank you all, I was in AA for seven months while I was 23, and I know that I have to be willing to put in the effort. You really get out of sobriety what you put into it. Life is really overwhelming and being able to get loaded and 'check out' is the only way I know how to handle it. But of course I'm not handling it at all. My life is unmanageable. I'm scared of sobriety but also scared of alcohol and drugs. But your encourage ment is great to hear, thank you all.