Really sick of alcoholism
I'm 26 years old and have been drinking and using drugs heavily since I was 16. It really stopped being fun for me at around 22, and after losing relationships, and many other tribulations I now just feel trapped. I'm caught in the middle and am stuck in this cycle of doing well, and relapsing, doing well, and relapsing. Its really bringing me down. All I want is to be able to enjoy one drink but it escalates way too fast and before I know it everything comes crashing down on me again. The guilt and shame and feelings of helplessness are enough to really want to give up and just accept my fate as a drunk. This of course is not what I actually want but I can't get past two weeks sober. Even countless detoxes aren't keeping me away.
I'd give my left nut not to have this disease. So here I am, a new member on this site hoping it will help. A new day 1 for me today, I think I just needed to share.
Thank you,
K