Sweetie, sometimes life hands us more than we feel we can handle and we get overwhelmed and feel defeated and sad...like you do.
It's hard to get through this, but if we just keep walking and believing that bad days don't last forever and good days await us once we have processed the pain, then we find the courage to make it through each day.
You will have a beautiful baby very soon, and the love you have for that child will sustain you and help you continue.
Perhaps this is a good season to remember another child who was born in a manger with no place to go and a life of uncertainty ahead.
Like that child there will be wise people to help you and the child both, there will be light and joy one day and the gift this child brings will be like no other. God loves all his children, including your baby. Trust that and know that we all are with you in spirit when you give birth one day soon.
Hugs