JennyK

I had to bite my tongue over and over and over again just to keep myself shut up.

Things are going very well for my husband at work, he is extremely excited and very hyper. When he is like this he talks ALL the time and does not sleep and listens to music into the late night and drinks way too much. I think he has some from of bi-polar (although he as only been diagnosed with a "mood disorder" and yes, he is taking anti-depressants and yes, he is still drinking so they don't work as well and no he is no longer going to therapy).

Anyway, he used to be like this ALL the time, this manic hyper mode.

I have not seen it in almost a year.

Tonight he was raring to go. Jabbering non stop, drinking like crazy (although he did think he was hiding it from me by putting the bottle behind the chair when he saw me), and generally acting so annoying.

I retreated to the basement. But I am so upset that I am seeing this again. I really have enjoyed NOT having this side of my husband around anymore.

I know what I can and can not do. It just kills me that my first reaction tonight was all the things that I KNOW not to do.

Good for me for NOT doing them, but still, why are they so close to the surface as my primary response? I hate that.

Jenny