Egg- your post's wording tells me- yep, there is a problem with alcohol. Have you thought of seeing your doctor? An AA meeting? One day you might wake up and remember this post years from now and discover you are an alcoholic- with lots of baggage. Might happen next time you drink. It is only dumb luck that keeps many who 'change' when they binge from harming themselves, others or property. Be careful, stay safe and keep posting. Lots of good stuff here to read. Prayers to you, PJ.