21 and want to stop drinking
I wouldn't say I'm 'addicted' to alcohol, I drink either 3 times a week or once a month. The problem is not how often I drink, but how MUCH I drink. I feel like no body has this problem as much as me, I don't know when to stop, I binge drink to excessive ammounts. But the worst part about it is the fact that when I am that drunk I'm not a nice person, I've been really nasty to my boyfriend, say stupid things and bitch about other friends to my friends, think random people in clubs are starting on me and have a go and I've even got into fist fights on occasion. This then makes me feel like absolute sh*t, anxious and depressed for about 3/4 days after. Sober me is a completely different person, I'm positive, happy and a just a nice person. If I could drink to the point of having a few drinks, I would. But I just can't. I don't have a limit, I can't stop once I start. Does this mean I have a problem? The thing is I'm in two minds because I just wish I could be like a 'normal' person and drink occasionally and only have a couple, but I don't. Sober me hates going out in town, it's just not my vibe. But drunk me is the first to go out and party then wake up in the morning regretting everything because I change into such a nasty person. And the worst thing is when I've told friends before I want to stop drinking, I get such negative feedback. I don't know what to do, but I know I can't carry on like this, I don't want to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend or friends, at one point I got so drunk I even turned on my mum and tried to fight one of her friends. Me and my mum have a lush relationship, it's just so weird how much I change after too much to drink. Please can somebody advise/ help? I'm sorry if this is a bit of a rant, got way too drunk on Tuesday and still feeling rubbish about it now (it's Friday morning). Thanks.
Another thing is I really enjoy going to gigs and that seems to be the only time I actually manage to have a few pints and then go home, because I go with my boyfriend.. Don't know whether to just drink at gigs or give up all together.