I agree... it is the only way to closure. I had to seek to understand everything that has happened to me, because I have lived a life that from the very beginning would seem to anyone to be completely unfair. I was taught to hate myself, and to get over that I had to understand why I was treated the way other people treated me. That takes a lot of humility, I think.
I feel like I was unclear about how this relates to emotional maturity, or to put it another way, taking responsibility for my emotions. This has been the biggest goal in my sobriety, having appropriate emotions, and being able to interact with other people in appropriate ways in all situations, home, work, school, whatever.
I am frustrated that even when I have appropriate reactions, I end up triggering other people and they put on a show of crying and they shame me. As much as I tried to show compassion, it fell flat, because she was righteously indignant. I had crossed her and how dare I? Never mind that she had offended me first.
I hope I never become the type of person who thinks that my position in life allows me the right to speak out of turn to someone, offend and upset them, and then shame them for their responses, because I think I am somehow owed unconditional respect, even when I am unreasonable in expecting that in some situations...
God, please humble me, so that I can use my life to do what you sent me here to do, to love others... It is just so very hard sometimes.