S,
Hon, you have been a good wife to your very sick husband. At some point ah needs to take accountability for his addiction, not you. Your children have seen some horrible things and it's just not fair to them. There is no guilt in taking care of them and letting this adult grown man, for once take care of himself. I totally disagree that you are hurting your kids by leaving, just the opposite. You are gifting them a loving, calm home with out all the drama of an alcoholic in it. (If you feel he will hurt himself, call the emt and let them take him in for an evaluation, he won't pull that again if you call him out)
I always said after 34 years with my axh, he was not going to die on my watch, enough is enough. You have threatened divorce so many times he doesn't hear you anymore. Actions speak louder then words. You might want to contact an attorney and find out your rights. Most first time visits to a divorce attorneys are free, so ask. Come in with a million questions.
I know you have no time for any meetings, but you can read all over this forum. Read the adult children of alcoholic forum and see how tramatised the members are growing up in an alcoholic home, and wishing mom would just leave. If anything, that forum will solidify that you are making the right decision. Go to the new to recovery forum for alcoholics and see how hard it is to get sober. Lots to educate yourself about his addiction. The bottom line is, is that it is progressive. If you actually can believe that, it will only get worse, as you can see over the years.
You can do this my friend, we are here to help. Education is power. We can hold your hand through this process. There are many that come out of this mess and are thriving. You can too! You are a wonderful, kind, brave mother who can no longer live with this man. It's ok, we can't always live with people we "love". Love can not cure alcoholism. Deep breaths, one day at a time, lots of serenity prayers, and you will be ok!!! Sending big hugs to you and your kiddos!!