Only you can really say weather you think it has gotten that bad. It's obviously causing you problems. What I CAN say from my own experience is a year before things started to really spiral out of control for me and I completely lost myself, I was doing exactly the same thing you are. In "control" for the most part, could have a few drink's then go to bed, almost every single day. Have the occasional drink too much night with the friends and black out and regret it. But the demon (alcohol) is never sated, and what will happen if you are anything like me, is that those few drinks will eventually snowball. Keep in mind I would only ever drink after work, and never during the day. That was me trying to rationalize irrational behavior on my end. I was in denial that wasn't in control, in my mind I had control I was just a "lush" who enjoyed drinking. I went from bring in control for the most part and drinking every night, to a point where I was unable to stop, it was scary how fast it happened. Obviously my suggestion would be to stop before it gets to that point for. Alcohol is a horrible poison anyways and life without is quite remarkable. You THINK alcohol is giving you something because you get addicted to the buzz but really it is numbing you from truly living your life.