Hello guys
I have been here before but it was quite some time ago and i didn't really stay for long either. What has been bothering me for a good amount of time now is the question ' Am i an alcoholic?' Basically i am a 20 year old male, been drinking somewhat regularly since 16- ish mostly having them RTD's like Bourbon N Cola Jim Beams 5-6 % drinks, not really vodka/whiskey type of person nor can handle strong liquor really.
However i have noticed that for the past 1 year or so i've literally been drinking almost every day after i finish work, like i'd get home and sit outside having 3-4, 440ml cans of Bourbon and Coke, then i'll just chill out and sleep. Until now i wasn't thinking much of my habit since i've been in a foreign country for a few years now and i don't really have many friends to hang out with, so the only fun thing i know is drink bourbon, listen to some good music. However recently my parents have been making comments on my habits, expressing some concerns and i have started looking into it as well and been asking myself the above question but i am really confused and cannot answer myself.
Part of the reason why i cannot answer is because i do seem to quite enjoy getting a buzz, i been able to control the amount i drink and i don't really wake up in the morning with shakes or having any W/D symptoms in the morning or through out the day. Despite all this i still am confused, am i an alcoholic but just not realizing it yet? Or do i just have a bad habit of drinking? I suppose if you do something every single day it is somewhat of an addiction though.
Recently i went out to a pub, got absolutely trashed with friends and out of drunken anger broke my toe.To this day i didn't really worry or think much of my drinking but because my injury was caused due to drinking and the concerns my parents have been expressing has made me really depressed all of a sudden, i almost feel like i am on the verge to become an alcoholic and will end up just another drunk who probably dies from cirrhosis in their 40's..
All these thoughts are starting to get to me. All of a sudden i start getting worried about my health as well.I live quite the unhealthy lifestyle to be perfectly honest, eat junk food, drink daily, no exercise at all apart from work and it's already showing, for 1 year i've been slowly getting an ugly as beer gut for example.
Anywa, sorry i made this so long but i am super confused and cannot really think straight nor explain how i feel exactly.. I am sorry guys!