Welcome, RG. You are not alone. I am a binge drinker. Once I start I can't stop until I run out of wine. Then I sober up regretting what I did to myself and swear I will never drink again. I don't even like the smell or taste of alcohol. Sounds strange but, that's addiction. I am not the same person when I drink. Of course, I can't tell. I think I am fine but, people can tell and I am not fooling anyone. Hope you find the support you need here at SR.