Hey RG
I was also 38 when I realized that I was an alcoholic. I was early stage and didn't know a thing about recovery. I knew a lot about alcoholism! Well, enough to be dangerous. I was/am also stubborn, arrogant, self centered, smart. I thought I could do it 'my' way, just quit, I got this etc etc. 13 years later, with lots of periods of abstinence, and I finally realize that I can't 'think' my way outta this addiction. I need help. And, this condition is progressive. I am now most definitely a late stage alchie. I hope you quit while you're ahead.