How have others who have gotten sober and stayed with their spouses deal with the early days of sobriety?
I thought I was headed for a divorce around 2009, but I managed to get sober and our relationship is as good as it ever was. We recently celebrated our 30th anniversary with a second honeymoon in Hawaii.
I attribute my success to two things.
1. Not drinking
2. The passage of time.
Sorry, I don't have a quick fix. But if you put him through hell for the past 5 years it might take 5 years to fix things.