hey sugarangel. when you described your story about last night, trudging through the dark, cold for a meeting I related to that so very well. I have been there. And in china. I was detoxing, back in feb 2009. my first super hard core detox. I mean shitting myself and puking at the same time. dark green gross stuff. and couldn't keep anything down. it was a solid week this time of truly being beaten, I mean beaten to the pulp. about the 4th night or so I looked up na online and reached out to the helpline. I had people calling me several times a day. This was huge. I would call my mom and cry daily, she felt so helpless.
I got in the taxi one night it was raining and cold and went to what I thought was an NA meeting. NOPE> I felt helpless. like I just wanted to give up... I would get that same feeling but way worse of extreme panic when I would be searching for pills and couldn't find or the pharmacy hadn't got my refill. you name it.
but today I am one step forward to not needing a pill. to get through my day...
stay strong.