Originally Posted by FireSprite

I've always wondered if your BF has unresolved/unrecovering Codie issues, or maybe is an ACoA? High-Functioning codie, lol?

Originally Posted by lizatola

Yes, he has older brothers. All alcoholics. One sober. One waffling with sobriety here and there and another who's in complete denial. His older sister is 2 years sober after a serious stint in rehab. She and I met recently to talk about recovery and how my bf is in denial about the alcoholism in his family and how he refuses to see it as a disease, etc.

Originally Posted by Wisconsin

I understand the hypervigilance about your own reactions very, very well. I think it's good and important to be aware of your motives, and what might be going on beneath all of this. But sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sometimes something makes you angry, and your anger is absolutely justified and healthy. I don't know where any of these things fall on that spectrum for you, but I do know that you have brought up these issues enough that it's obviously something that troubles you deeply. Like I said...you have come far enough in recovery that I think you do yourself a disservice to just write these feelings off as an unhealthy manifestation of your codependency.