Thank you everyone. I do not disagree with anything anyone has said here.
Yes my self esteem is low. I could fill pages with the unavailable angle which is why I don't begin to pour that out.
I do feel like I need to explain myself to him but you guys are right. I don't owe it to him. He would not listen anyway or try to understand.
He has chosen his path. Now I must choose mine.
THX!!!