CH- you say a lot in a few lines. That you have used SR in regards to your drinking. That you do not 'crave' alcohol- not many people do. That you felt in control and had a blackout with significant memory loss. Label this anyway you like- but that is dangerous to your health and safety and possibly others as well. My advice for a long term look at this is stop drinking forever. There may be a medical reason for this- interacting with medication? Perhaps see a doctor. Scary stuff, friend. Perhaps next time (theoretically) you might not be so lucky. Prayers for you.-PJ