Originally Posted by
christyham 
I am going to try and AA meeting I have found one locally and it is in tomorrow night. . I suppose I just think I have let myself and my family down and feel pretty ashamed that I need to do this and to be honest I am terrified of attending the meeting.
Good on you for keeping an open mind despite your fears.
My own fears and preconceptions kept me from making it into a meeting for a month - and that being despite the fact that my much loved and now deceased step father was an AAer and his tough old sponsor had helped me out of a massive bind 20 odd years ago, on the strength that he extended his love for his sponsee to his sponsees family. There was still the idea in my head that I would be going to a room full of crazy Drunks. Of course, none of the poeple there were anything like my fears had imagined. They had good solid sobriety, were kind, patient and welcoming. They made me bad coffee and accepted me. As I was. They told me the truth, even when it wasn't what I wanted to hear, but said it with such kindness and heartfelt honesty that it was just about bearable.
I hope you get through the door of that meeting tonight. And if you don't, then I hope you get through the door of the next one.
(By the way, meetings actually start on the dot of whatever time they're advertised as starting, so about 10 mins before the noted time is best for arriving so you can get your bearings, a coffee and settled. )
I'll be thinking if you today, and praying that you find the strength to go, and that you hear what you need to hear, and look for the similarities rather than the differences.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB